I've been wallowing a bit lately. The discipline of being a self-propieter and learning to not take things too personally gets to my introverted heart at times. I get worn from over socializing and fight to stay in the social circles every so often. Not always, of course, but this has been a rough week. My husband is my back bone in this area, he pushes and motivates me constantly. I am very thankful for this.
So when he was gone for the past three days, I felt pretty down and out for a bit. I motivated myself enough to clean and clean some more, edit a lot, then I did some research and began a clean eating regime along with yoga. And wow, it feels so good!
I have forced myself out of the house the past two days to just do anything. I have caught myself up on all paid work (!!!) and patiently waiting for the next, so I had some time to kill just for myself. Well, kind of, I always have at least one of my kiddos with me. Kate and I made the most of it today. I have been putting in double duty where I feel I haven't spent enough time with her. Giving her my full attention and learning to really let her express her needs and supporting that, not swaying it in my preferential direction. There has already been a positive difference in us.
We began our morning errands shortly after getting the oldest off to school. We paced ourselves and moved rather slow, ensuring we enjoyed our time instead of rushing through it. Then I dug a little deep and did what I knew would make my heart feel well again. It all started when the sun started shining and I actually got to wear sunglasses - oh that felt good. Vitamin D for the win! Then, I picked up a new little fern [I'm itching to get to my gardens again] and happily planted it in a cute little holder. When I found a home for it, I felt content. I know that sounds silly, but the sun shone through and left all the beautiful rainbow-reflected colors throughout the room. Maybe because it reminds me of my Grandma, I'm not sure, but I loved this little moment today.
And there it was. My grateful 365. I've been debating whether or not I would take on this new photo challenge. Instead of doing one every day, I'll do the photos for a week. Things I feel grateful for. I know this is a lesson I need right now, to fit into this changing of seasons I'm in. The first was allowing my body rest, to allow down time regardless of when or how often I need it or even if my kids join in, we indulge together. I can credit a lot of this change to the book Quiet [link in sidebar], as it really changed my perspective and gave me words when I had none for how I felt. Fabulous read.
Last year, I did one photo every day for a year. I grew a lot in my photography and learned so much about my life. At first, I struggled with what to capture (hence the stupid dinner photos, sorry), but as I went on, it became increasingly easy. I came to really love it and manage without a hint of struggle. My kids being my greatest inspiration. I love capturing them and having that to look back on. They represent so much of what you put into life. I'm thankful for them everyday.
Whether or not you're a photographer or share much on social media, I encourage you to try. Take a photo to represent what you're grateful for every week, or even everyday. If you're a photographer, let that be your push to improve upon your skills. It's a beautiful thing to glance at and see down the road. Most importantly, don't do it for anyone but yourself.
As the title says, DON'T INDULGE. INDULGE. Don't indulge in self pity - it gets you nowhere, except feeling crummy and treating others poorly. DO indulge in what makes you feel good and put in effort for others and do it for them, not for yourself, that always makes you feel good.