I spend a significant amount of time thinking about myself. Not in the way that actually sounds, but more in the way of who I am - as a person, a wife, a mother - and of course, how I can be better. Always how I can be better.
It came over me like a light bulb today - about my relationship with Jeremy. About love, about everlasting relationships. I take personally what a lot of people say, that isn't always a negative thing either. While criticism is hard to hear, I learn to deal with those faults and improve. I find myself often trying to get back to the girl before the Army changed me. I realize now that I want the basis of that, but with all the things I've learned since. All that made Jeremy fall in love with me.
As many times as he's told me, and that I've asked him, I can't say I ever really know why he loves me, but I know that he does. Insecurity runs very deep in me, and it's one of my greatest faults. Insecurity is ugly and so very unattractive. I know how much I've put Jeremy through for it, dealing with that fault, and overcoming my own demons. While it's not an easy road, it's one we've overcome together. Again, it's proof that regardless of why, he does love me.
Embrace the love around you. Let go of all those worries that plague your mind. Hold those closest to you and realize that it isn't things that create our memories, but experiences.. moments. Create as many experiences as you can... as many memorable moments as you can. Know that whatever hardships you endure, someone out there has or is facing far worse. While you may not know what that is, find comfort in that, and be thankful for all that you do have, even if it isn't much. .
Don't forget to laugh as often as possible. Get rid of 'things.' Hug one another, even if it's a perfect stranger - you never know when they had one last. Smile. Be kind. And love. Love your family and friends like you've never loved before. Love as if it's your last chance, as if it's your only choice. Just do it. You don't need a reason, and there's no reason not to. More than anything, be young. We only grow older because our psyche thinks we're supposed to - change that. Don't. Grow young. Have fun. Laugh. Play. Let go of your stress, your worries, your fear, and all that you don't have. Let it go and play. These things are my new bucket list. To always remember the little things, never let go of all that I have, and be thankful.
Kate: "My turn! My turn!" and she would walk within a foot of Alyx and toss the frisbee to him ;).
She loves to jump.
He loves to talk about each play.
Lately, she's picking all my flowers. I like them to stay there. I asked her to stop, and she flapped her arms up and down in exasperation... she didn't want to.
Kate found a few old Forget-Me-Not's left by the apple tree and decided to pick those too.
As if we haven't watched Cinderella enough, she asks for it about 10 times a day. It's playing at least twice each day.
My birthday fuschia's. I can't wait for Jeremy to be home to hang them outside my kitchen window :).
As I was capturing my fuschia's, I spotted my pup taking in the moment.
As soon as Kate came downstairs this morning and spotted the ballon, she instantly exclaimed, "Balloon! Balloon!" Keep in mind she can spot a single balloon a mile away. "That's mine!" Me: "No honey, that's mommy's. For my birthday." Frown face from Kate, "No, that's mine." Hahaa. As soon as I told the kids yesterday that it was my birthday, Kate immediately started singing, "Happy birthday. To youuuuuu." It's her favorite thing to sing.
This smile makes my world go round.
She took the balloon steak out earlier, and said it was a fork and pretended to eat with it. Hahaa.
Getting to face-time with Jeremy made my day today. I can't wait to have him here for real, and it's only a little ways away. I also got to talk to my dad today, and the prospect of him coming to visit for our wedding is almost more joy than I can bear. I feel so blessed for the rest of this year and all it has in store for us.